Before, I thought the opposite of “I love you” was “I don’t love you”.

“Before, I thought the opposite of “I love you was ” I didn’t love you”. But now, the opposite of “I love you” is “I can’t do anything for you.” That’s what I think now.”

It’s funny when we were young we thought about happy ever after but we never thought about the process of the whole part of a relationship. Yes, I’m talking about physical and emotional parts. The hours of thinking is this the right person for me. The hours talking to your friends and family about your significant other. The hours of tears running down your face and the hours laughing so hard it hurts.

Looking back at my old relationships  I never regret my decisions. I wouldn’t change any part of it.  I agree with the quote. I didn’t love them less. I just accepted that I couldn’t do anything for them any more. I move on and found my own happiness. I learn I didn’t really need other significant other to make me happy. It funny looking back now. I waited for them to take me to locations I want to visited.

I expect them to be my prince charming. My prince charming was just regular men. I decide to improve myself. It’s no secret after my real heart fails at the hospital. I changed as a person. I start to see changes. It’s funny. I met this person. That change all that. He wasn’t what I expected too. I didn’t like him at first.

I didn’t expect faith interline. I was walking home to from Giant baseball game with my coworker at ATT Park in San Francisco. There were over 150,000 people that night walking the street after the game. I couldn’t believe it. I was walking home. When I look up I saw him. I wasn’t sure if it was him. I kept on walking home. Later that night I got text “Were you at the Giants game?” He asked me. I couldn’t lie. I said “Yes.”

Weeks later we got our first date. I still didn’t know how I felt about him. I was nervous. I didn’t say anything during the ride to the restaurant. He was trying to make me laugh. I was shy. I just kept looking out at the window. It was normal first day. We talk a little and eat. When he drove me home, he kissed me. That was the end of the date.

I know what you all are thinking. “Wait! That’s it! Come on.” Don’t worry. I thought that was the last time I would see him again. It was funny. When I got a message from him. After that with our busy schedule, we just message each other. Then the message got more more frequent. I started to learn a lot from him.

One day at work. I started to get dizzy and sweaty. Keep mind, I have a desk job. I got up and fainted. My coworker called 911 and I was rushed to the hospital. Yes, this really happened. I woke up with an IV in both arms and was hooked on heart monitors. My heart had failed. I was moved to the ICU. You’re most likely wondering where this going. Thus, when I knew. Let’s get back to the story to explain more. I was in the ICU for about two days now. Bed rest and watching movies to pass the time.

I got there and knocked on the door. I was use to doctors and nurse coming in to check on me. I didn’t think anything of it. They knock again. “Hmm.. Hello. I’m Doctor Bobby. Can I come in?” he said. I said of course. He didn’t come in. I thought it was weird. He knocks again. “Hello, It’s Doctor Bobby again.” He said. I said yes. It took me a second, but I realize I know that voice. I thought to myself. “No, it can be him. I didn’t tell anyone where I’m at.” I said to myself. He walks in with flowers and vase. He starts to arrange the flower. I thought that was the sweetest thing ever. I fell in love with him on that day. Yes, I still had my doubts.

You learn when the honeymoon phase is over. The excitement and bubble go away. I still have him as friend protects me and care for me. Honesty, I don’t know where what going to happen to us. I’m enjoying the moment. I still have a lot of growing as a person. I learn a lot from that man. It can’t always be about your needs.

We have to remember about the other person needs. Sometimes sacrificing sleep to let the other person sleep. 😉 Letting them act like a child. Letting them win the argument even though they won. Thank you for always surprising me and accepting me for my imperfection. I promise to accept you and understand you. I understand your past and I want our future.


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